Rethinking Self Care

For years, the notion of “self-care” has made the headlines in almost every facet of our life. The exploding health and wellness industry, of which I am a part, thrives on reminding people how important it is to practice “self-care”. Billions of dollars are moved around from consumer to producer in search of that which will be the thing that allows us to feel taken care of by ourselves. 

But therein lies the problem. We can’t only take care of ourselves. We don’t exist in a vacuum. Our lives are communal (not in the 1960s version of the word) and we need to rely on each other. So when the health and wellness industry touts the importance of “self-care”, is it, and, in turn, are we ignoring one of the most important qualities of human nature? That of connection and community?

I’ve been thinking about whether or not the notion of self care is selfish for a while, wavering back and forth about sharing my thoughts. Is it detrimental to my own business? Will it insult my dear friends and colleagues who use this phrase and offer amazing experiences for health and fitness to others? Or will it remind people that instead of looking inward, asking,  “What can I do for me?”, perhaps we should look outward, and ask, “What can I do for others?”, that will really provide that wholeness we are looking for.

Of course, it is important to take time to enjoy the activities-- exercise, food, nature -- that we love to enjoy. But the current self-care industry markets with a message that it is the I (the individual) who is the MOST important. The industry neglects to reinforce the true fact that if we all behave as though we are the most important, we lose sight of the fact that we exist in a world with neighbors, friends, colleagues. And if we are ALL thinking that our individual selves are of primary importance, we will make demands on our communities that can never be met because for each and every member of that community, there will be a single and unique demand. It is an impossible task. 

I’d like to challenge this message and encourage everyone to start thinking of taking care of our own SELF as a part of a larger effort. It’s about keeping our individual selves vital and connected so that our communities can thrive and be healthy. It’s more about remembering that every thing we do and ask for ourselves has an effect on the community at large. And that, in and of itself, will make us feel good.